Last week while I was driving my car to work I remembered that I can listen to CBC on my car radio from St-Fabien to Rimouski (only static from Trois-Pistoles to St-Fabien). I happened to tune-in to an episode of Q and I was rivited. The host and the guest panel were talking about a video by Eminem and Rihanna in which a torrid love affair escalates into domestic vioence.
The discussion included many points of view: praise, critique, outrage, appreciation, cynicism, concern. Although I know who the two hip-hop/pop stars are, I hadn't ever really listened to their music; however, I knew after listening to the discussion, I just had to watch the video for myself. Before listening to the discussion, watch the video. What are your first impressions? Click on the link for the video and the debate.
Q Debate: Domestic Violence and Entertainment
What I think is that this video is a little misunderstood. It's probably true that Eminem and Rihanna wanted to show their past experience in this song and the lyrics that Eminem sings may be a little confusing. But if you take time to analyse them, what you can see is that Eminem sings what many guys that beat their girlfriends have in their head. You can see it in those examples: " I can't tell you what it really is/ I can only tell you what it feels like", "Cause when it's going good/ It's going great/ I'm Superman", "But when it's bad/ It's awful/ I feel so ashamed". What Eminem means in those lyrics is that the type of guy who does domestic violence has an uncontrollable feeling provoked by some sort of problem in their mind. They also feel ashamed of themselves and try to be at peace with their girlfriends, only to do those beatings again.
ReplyDeleteAs for Rihanna, she expresses, in the lyrics she sings, what girls are feeling when they are in this kind of situation. For example,in this part: "Just gonna stand there/ And hear me cry/ But that's alright/ Because I love/ The way you lie", she shows that most of those girls, when they are beaten and they know their lover's lies, still feels some love for the guy.
In conclusion, I think this song, if truly understood, can save peoples living in this kind of situation, because everyone can understand what a man and a woman who is in domestic violence feel in their mind.Also, in the interview, we've learned that Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan, by playing in the clip, sent money to women's shelters, which is another good point.
I agree with “Bloodkiller14” about his idea of the video.
ReplyDeleteI think they didn’t want to promote domestic violence. Eminem and Rihanna try to denounce this violence and explain it in this video, because they already lived that, people can feel the true in their lyrics. Artists are here to provoke people and talk about situations that often remain silent. This is Art!
The video show violence but also love, like a crazy nightmare. The titles “I love the way you lie” seem to me that even if the guys apologize about his action, it will always be the same.
When Eminem sing: I just want her back, I know I'm a liar, If she ever tries to fucking leave again, I'mma tie her to the bed, And set the house on fire.
You can feel that his emotions are stronger than his word and he can’t control himself.
And when Rihanna sing: Just gonna stand there, And watch me burn, But that's alright, Because I like, The way it hurts. I love the way you lie.
That means for me, that she loves him even if he always lies. Like a vicious circle. I think that show how love is blind sometimes.
The message in this video is probably nothing really complicated. Domestic violence is still something really present today and this is really hard to denounce even if this is happening next door. I think this song is to help people to open their eyes about this.
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ReplyDeleteI thing this song act as a warning message it shows something people don’t always realised and they really don’t want to promote domestic violence. They want that people know a little more about those kind of stories.
ReplyDeleteI think that I love the way you lie is a great song and in the same time it’s a disturbing song because it talks about true stories and it’s happening every day and everywhere. Eminem and Rihanna decided to talk about their story and we know both side because Eminen did domestic violence and Rihanna has already been a victim of domestic violence.
The lyrics can be cruel and rough lie when Eminen says : If she ever tries to fucking leave again I'mma tie her to the bed And set the house on fire but if you really want to show what people live when they are victim of domestic violence you have to tell the truth. We understand this is not easy to leave somebody you love even if there is a lot violence in your Relationship. Just gonna stand there And watch me burn But that's alright Because I like The way it hurts. She is suffering but she stay with him because she loves him.
I thing that the music video is genious. We can see love and violence in the same time and this is the reality. If you want people to understand what you are saying you have to add images like that you have to make people thing and react about it.
I think that the actions in the video are not sending a good message to the receptor. The men( Dominic Monaghan) and the girl(Megan Fox) are fighting and finally they are making love. The bad action is follow by a passionate love`s scene. This way they are showing the good side of fighting(if I can say that this way) rather of the bad consequents. Also, the man bit the girl and give her a teddy bear so she will forgive him. This is not showing to women or even men who are living the same lifestyle that this is a bad relationship. It`s showing them that their relationship is kind of normal.
ReplyDeleteI don`t think that they wanted to do a video that is encouraging domestic violence but I think it`s going to change anything because the video is not sending the good message.
One of the comment on Q was why should it be a message? I think it should be a message that disapprove domestic violent because of what both signers lived. It would not have the same impact if it was not Eminem and Rihanna. We know them of their antecedent in domestic violence.
The lyrics are good. It`s show how the man feel in that situation and how the woman feel when she getting beat up by her boyfriend.
Finally, I like this song but I don`t think this video and the song are going to change anything on earth because they are not bringing solution, they are showing reality. They don`t try to change anything they just show to people that it`s normal the way they feel in their lifestyles.
Daphne
I heard that song many times on the radio, but I didn't really pay attention the the lyrics. When I saw the video in class, my vision of the song didn't really changed.
ReplyDeleteFirst,I think the song of Eminem and Rihanna is good( I like the way Eminem express hiself in all his songs).But, it's a big commercial hit like all the other ones that we can hear on the radio. And that's all it is, I mean even with the video, the message isn't really clear if they are promoting domestic voilence or not. Sure, the video shows a certain reality of everyday but at the end, when the ''couple'' ended up making love after fighting each other... It shows that there is no evolution in the situation. They don't talk about the consequences of it... So, I clearly think that the video wasn't made to sensitize people about domestic violence.
And I think the idea of provocation is the main goal of the song and video, so that it brings people to talk, to debate and even do homework about it ! And I respect that, after all that's how many artists have sucess. But, I still find it funny that in our '' so open'' society, that we are in 2010, a simple song and video cause a lot of questions and debates about the ''message'' that it sends. Instead of just enjoy the art, the music and say '' Oh! That's the new song of Eminem let's LISTEN to it ! ''
The first time I heard that song, I thought that Eminem and Rihanna took the subject of domestic violence just like another one. But then, I read the lyrics and I remembered that Rihanna had been beaten by her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown last year and that Eminem had abused verbally and physically his ex-wife a few years ago. That made me think that, with this song, perhaps they were trying to denounce domestic violence by explaining how it feels, on both sides, to be stuck in a violent relationship.
ReplyDeleteJust like the lyrics of the song, the video is uncensored and brutal. Some of the best examples I can give you are when Eminem sings: ‘She fucking hates me and I love it’ or ‘If she ever tries to fuckin’ leave me again, I’ma tie her to the bed , And set the house on fire’. I think it’s what it takes to capture the audience attention and to spread the message in a wide area.
Sometimes, we tend to think that it’s always the fault of the man, and the woman would just have to leave in order to quit an unhealthy relationship. ‘Love the way you lie’ opens our eyes about it. Both people in a couple have their part of responsibility. What made Rihanna and Eminem with this song and video is pure reality.
Alex
For the second assignment of the year we were told to give our opinion of the song "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem and Rihanna. The man and woman in this video are in an abusive relationship. The video shows the strong feelings they have for one another. One minute they're fighting and the next they're kissing passionately.
ReplyDeleteI personally think that the video was misunderstood by the two women debating the subject on Q. They were debating whether or not it should be considered as art and if it should be shown on TV since it shows shocking images of domestic abuse. In this song, Eminem is trying to express how he felt about his ex-wife Kim Mathers. They knew each other since they were young and experienced so much together. They both used drugs and didn't have a very healthy relationship.
Some of the lyrics are "All I know is that I love you too much to leave", "I can't tell you what it really is. I can only tell you what it feels like. And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe" and "Your temper is just as bad as mine, you're just like me. When it comes to love you're just as blinded". Maybe some people don't know but sometimes in abusive relationships it isn't just the man who can be aggressive. He shows that in these lyrics and also explains why it's so hard to stop domestic violence. When you love someone so much it must be nearly impossible to leave if they hurt you. And you end up hating them just as much as you love them. It's very confusing and I don't wish this kind of situation on anyone.
I also think that these types of videos should most definitely be shown on TV. Music is supposed to be art and art is inspired by what the artist is feeling. The music on TV nowadays is very shallow and doesn't show questioning of important subjects. And what I don't understand is how artists like Katy Perry and Kesha can release videos that show signs of sexuality and drugs but Eminem gets called out for his meaningful songs. It's not right that most artists can sing about sex, drugs and alcohol. If adults are concerned for their children listening to hip hop music, why aren't they attacking Jason Derulo or Taio Cruz?
I really hope that this song enlightens people on the subject and that it doesn't just fade away like the rest of all the REAL hip hop and rap music and only be played at 2 in the morning.
Hilary
When I first heard this song, I think she was good but when I know the context of this song I was completly shocked because Eminem had beaten his ex-wife and he talking about that like he don't mind. ( I know some of you won't agree with me but I have a kind of 'hate' for this kind of person. I think people who beat other people like childrens or women have to be in jail!!! )
ReplyDeleteEven if Ì really don't like the videoclip because I don't think that a videoclip made by two singers can change the world. It won't open eyes because - I don't know for you - we talk about domestic abuse since we are in secondary 1 and we know that domestic abuse always increase.. and it's not coming to go down!
I have to say that the lyrics is good, it's really show what emotions and feelings a person can feel. I like the fact that he - Eminem - says : ' Next time, it won't be a next time. ' because a man who beat this girlfriend will always say : ' it won't happen again but it's still and still happen again!
SOCIAL CRITIQUE
ReplyDeleteLast week in class, I watched this video for the first time and my first impression was… ‘’Hooo…what a strange love story…How can people be in love, and want to kill each other at the same time!!! ‘’
After watching it, I was shocked, but this made me realise that these kind of situations happens all around us, but still nobody does anything against it.
His also made me understand that even thought you are with some you love and you feel safe, that does not mean you are!
According to me, people who live with those kinds of situations everyday will stay there everyday since they are used to it or likes the feeling it gives them.
The whole songs prove it, but I think that the chorus does it even more. Also at the very beginning of the song we can hear...
‘’Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts’’
She knows that she is burning, she’s life is burning because of her love, but still she is staying with him because she needs these kinds of things.
When we just take a look at the video, without any sound, we realized that everything they do is a kind of confrontation, to always revolt more the other one.
We live in a society where messages are hard to get understood and I think that sometimes it is better that the message get told even if it must hurt!
I believe that the very provocative video Love the Way You Lie was not made to glamorize domestical violence but rather to try to explore what it can feel like to be into violent relationships. I do not think that the main goal was to point out why abuse is wrong or what should be done about it. In my opinion, Eminem and Rihanna did not have any intentions other than trying to explain how hard it can be to leave someone you love, even when they hurt you. (I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like) And it is really valuable to experience your experiences through art as it can often lead to more reflections.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, what I fear is that this could be put out as an "anti-abuse" video and watched by teens and young adults trying to make sense of their relationships which could result in more silent victims of domestical violence. I did not like the passionate kissing that was early in the video either because to me, it seemed to be a next step in the progression of violence.
No matter what we say, I truly believe that this video cannot do any wrong to anyone. It makes people talk, it makes people think. For instance, if any of us, the language students , is or knows someone who is a victim of domestic violence, this will make them think twice and maybe take better decisions when it will come to leaving their violent boyfriend or girlfriend.
The best point in all this is that Megan Fox donated the money she made from the video to a DV shelter, as far as I know.
As I watched the video, I couldn't help thinking about the famous phrase "the medium is the message."
ReplyDeleteWhat I mean by that, is that although both the song and the video tell a story about a violent love affair in which both partners enable eachother to continue their unhealthy relationship, the nature of the medium through which the story is told and diffused subverts any kind of "warning" message the video may imply.
Much Music, MTV, Music Plus are entertainment and fame machines that to me, not only normalize but glamorize the issue of domestic abuse. The song no doubt acts as a catalyst for discussions on the subject, but to me the message of the medium says "Look, it's normal and passionate and even glamourous to beat someone or to be beaten up. I saw it on MTV!"
I can't get Rihanna's hook (chorus) out of my head. It's catchy, it's melodious, and I resent it because I don't love the way it lies.
This is a good video ... you just have to listen carefully to the lyric and the tone that they are signing it. To cut short the song mean if you stay in this hellhole you will burn yourself inside out. And when Riana say« it feel good the way it hurt it» is simply to be sarcastic in relation the physical abuse she have in real life. And when Eminem say «Life is no Nintendo game. But you lied again, now you get to watch her leave ...out the window » For all video game player it’s clear like water. This simply mean: In real life you must play right because if not unlike in video game you can’t save and reload to start a new life and it’s easy to lose your love one. So that’s why I think this is a good video.
ReplyDeleteI only think that it's normal that some people reacted to it because there always be somebody whose going to be shocked by everything. But for me it's just another good song with good singers. Yes it can be a rude subject but this is not the first shocking song that ever been written. Just think to Madonna who were singing:"like a virgin, touched for the very time". was it promogating sex before mariage, was it shocking? yes, but does anybody keep talking about it no. So I personally think that is just a flash in the pan. Some other singer will sing a even more rough song and they will completely stop talking about "I love the way you lie". For me, It's not even useful to talk about it, because it will not last.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I watched the video, I didn't really had a precise opinion about it. It was just some good music with a beautiful actress who was playing the lost woman. But then in class, I had to watch it again and it gave me like a feeling that I can't really describe. I felt sort of empty.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, women will feel touched and joined by this video/song. And obviously, I don't think that it's a good thing and it is certainly because of the ambigus end : The girl stays with her boyfriend even if he loves her so much that he beats her. Some women could even stay with their violent boyfriend by watching this video.
Like the lady said in the debate about Eminem and Rihanna's new video, I think that by adding a phone number at the end would of change everything. People could easily understand that there is a problem about this kind of relationship.
Anyhow, I can tell that I love this song and that this video is still a piece of art.
Marie-Pier